Unknown Dreams

As a kid, I remember playing college, a lot. I was such a weird kid. I would sit in my closet and pretend it was my dorm. I don’t remember going to classes, but I definitely remember talking about going to classes and the books I read, and the people I met. Not only was this a super weird thing to do, but upon reflection, it was such a privileged thing to do.

Both of my parents graduated from the University of Miami. They love the University of Miami. We watched a lot of football games on TV and I watched one or two in person. I remember hearing their stories about college and visiting the University of Miami campus and several others. I always knew I would go to college. Apparently so much that I played it like some people play teacher (I played that, too) or store.

I wonder if that act of playing, practicing as a kid gave me some muscle memory about dreaming big and wanting to do weird and interesting things? Also, seeing people who look like me, and people in my family doing things I wanted to do helped tremendously. I knew I could go to college because it was all around me.

Like most people I went through a lot of ideas of what I want to be when I grow up. The first book I remember reading had pictures of people with different careers. I remember on the last page was a circus with the occupations of the circus people. I loved the acrobats. Being an acrobat was probably my first career goal. Later, I wanted to be a teacher, a marine biologist (I lived in landlocked Colorado at the time), and an author.

College is one of the dreams I realized, a couple of times over by this point. I have also accomplished some dreams that were not even on my radar when I was younger.

Crying across the 2013 NYC Marathon.

1. In 2010, my good friend Danielle was training and raising money to run the New York City Marathon. I did what a good friend does. I donated money, went to her fundraising event, helped her carb load, attempted to cheer for her and told her she was out of her mind and I would never run a marathon. Flash forward two years. I had just started running. And my then-boyfriend (now husband) said, “Hey, I want to run the NYC Marathon for my 40th birthday and I think you should run with me.” He also handed me an amazing book called A Race Like No Other. After crying on the subway while reading the book and later finishing a half marathon, I agreed. As I was deliriously running in Central Park in the dark, my marathoner friend found me, practically force-fed me a cookie, and agreed with me that “this is really hard.” It was not pretty, and it was not fast but I am a marathoner. Not a dream I dared to have even three years earlier but, damn, it was awesome.
2. When I was in graduate school (permanent college student here), I was a Graduate Assistant for the dean of the social work school. She was thinking about developing a study abroad program and asked if I would be interested in studying abroad and reporting my experiences. I couldn’t agree fast enough and found a program with Loyola University to study in Rome for a week in the summer. It changed my life. I realized that I could succeed alone in another country. I developed a love for travel so deep that it is sometimes all-consuming. Plus, I met my best friend. Before that time, I never had an opportunity to travel overseas. I wasn’t sure I ever would. This is a dream I hope I never fully realize because I never want to stop visiting new places.

3. After living in NYC for several years, a friend from college happened to be in town with her boyfriend. As I was showing them around, she told him, “I always knew she would live here, she was obsessed with all things New York.” I was shocked because I certainly didn’t know I would end up here. When I moved here in 2008, I thought I’d give it a year and see. (You do the math.) Then I realized many of my favorite things are NYC things: The Beastie Boys, When Harry Met Sally…, Sex and the City, and Friends to name a few. Another dream I accomplished without realizing it was a dream.

I am still working on accomplishing some dreams I have had for a long time.

I am finishing my Ph.D. so I can be a professor. This will allow me to live out the being in college dream on a daily basis.

I haven’t written a book yet but I am the author of a few articles.

I’m not sure I will accomplish the acrobat dream. But you never know.

Tell me about the dreams you accomplished that you didn’t even know were dreams.