Women’s History Month: let her share Her Story
I wanted to write something in honor of Women’s History Month, the typical: these women were left out of the history books so let’s honor them during this one month a year. Then I realized that A) it is bullshit we have to have a designated month to honor people who should just be in regular history books, this goes for Black History, Hispanic History, Native History and so on and B) women’s stories are being erased in real-time in front of our eyes.
I still have some residual heartbreak from the 2016 election so I told myself I would not get involved this early. I live in New York so I don’t vote until much later and my vote will be to get the White House back. It turns out what that meant was silently rooting for Elizabeth Warren, listening to people say mean things about her and watch her be ignored in a group of men. While wearing a bracelet that says “Nevertheless she persisted” on my wrist every day.
The Democratic debates were a free for all, with everyone talking over each other. But as far as I can tell, when Elizabeth Warren raised her hand on a debate stage, she was the only one described the next day as one of those little girls in class trying to get the teacher’s attention. It’s a sad but accurate description because that is what girls have to do. They have to raise their hands to be heard. They do this when they are engaged in learning or politics. And then they stop.
Recently in an interview with Terry Gross on Fresh Air, Claire Danes described herself as annoying, an engaged learner and “oh, oh, oh” (picture Elizabeth Warren in the debates). She goes on to say that “she didn’t quite get the memo that you are supposed to stop doing that, especially as a girl.” She said that her best friend only allowed herself to answer three questions, meanwhile, she was the valedictorian of Danes’ class. Terry Gross interjects by saying “That’s so horrible.” Danes agrees, and so do I.
The girls in my research tell a similar story. They often backtrack or minimize their accomplishments. They use qualifying words like “kinda,” “sorta,” or “a little bit.” They tell me how the boys tell them they are bragging when they talk about their accomplishments. Another adolescent girl I know, one of the smartest people I know, period, hides her intelligence. She hides her superpower, as her mom and dad describe it because she is afraid that if she is too smart people won’t like her. It breaks my heart.
It breaks my heart that girls feel like they can only be kind of or sort of smart to be accepted. It breaks my heart that a female valedictorian limited her hand raises so she wasn’t seen as too smart or annoying. And it breaks my heart that an intelligent woman running for president was unable to fully display her intelligence and was an “oh oh girl” and was still not heard.
So in honor of Women’s Herstory Month, go out and make herstory. Be loud! Be smart! Be creative! Take a break! Ask for help! Learn about women who were pioneers in your field. We will be celebrating marginalized populations on a monthly basis until their stories are more fully integrated. Men — give women the mic, don’t make us ask, because sometimes we won’t and we all miss out on what women have to say.
